18. Wandering in Seclusion
By Luang Pu Thate Desaraṅsī
November 23, 1984
Don't go thinking about deprivation or hardship, thinking that you need to train and torture yourself. This training and testing of yourself, no one else can do it for you; you have to do it yourself. Making effort requires forcing yourself.
After the Rains Retreat, when the rains end, there is the practice of wandering in seclusion to find peace and quiet. Going off in search of seclusion is good as well. Staying in the same place can be difficult, so we seek seclusion, seek peace in order to train ourselves, and then observe: is it peaceful? Not being greedy for places to live and eat, not delighting in entertainment and comfort. Seclusion means finding peace in every way. If there is no one else around, staying alone is best, as a test. We have ordained; this is our opportunity to practice meditation and wander in seclusion. If you go with a large group, everyone is busy with their own affairs. One person says this, another says that; one is like this, another like that – all kinds of things to listen to. Opinions differ. Staying alone, doing it alone, focusing solely on yourself.
When wandering in seclusion, you should know your routine. Before going, you must resolve, make a determination in your heart: "I will practice meditation." Your routine may not be able to follow every rule as if in the monastery, but do what is necessary. Clean and sweep only what you can. For the toilet, you must take care of it. If you are staying for several days, have a toilet built; clean it yourself.
Almsround should be done regularly. The same for eating – keep it regular. While on almsround, you must be careful and restrained in every way, maintain mindfulness, circumspection, and awareness at all times. Walking meditation is absolutely essential. Some people have ordained for two rains retreats and have never done walking meditation. If you meditate without walking meditation, I don't know how you can manage. It's not my nature; I wouldn't know what to say.
The effort described here is the way of life for a meditation monk, or for monks in general. If you don't practice like this, I don't know why you would stay. After a while, you'll start thinking in worldly ways, thinking about sensual pleasures, getting all tangled up. But if you contemplate as described, there is seclusion within you, there is virtue within you. We live in the Buddha's dispensation with virtue as our abiding, virtue as our foundation. All those meditations (kammaṭṭhāna) should be contemplated as the fruit and foundation of virtue. When you have virtue as your basis, then contemplating these things proceeds accordingly. And then you contemplate the benefits – the benefits of virtue, the benefits of concentration, the benefits of wisdom.
The benefit of virtue: the five precepts, eight precepts, ten precepts, the 227 precepts. For laypeople, it is very difficult to maintain them. Even so, monks still want to disrobe; they don't see the value of virtue. Virtue is excellent, superior to everything else. That is why laypeople respect and venerate monks. They respect, revere, and worship monks because monks have more virtue than they do, are more complete in virtue. The foundation of the Path, Fruition, and Nibbāna is precisely this virtue. When you contemplate virtue like this, you feel fullness and joy. Where else can you find such completeness as in a monk? Only a monk can be complete and perfect in virtue.
Furthermore, when we maintain this virtue, the blessing of seeing the value of virtue gives rise to faith. Laypeople make merit and give donations without regretting it; they give all they have. But if someone contemplates virtue and sees its value, they are not greedy. If they are greedy, that is not the benefit of virtue. Greedy for fame, wanting others to praise and respect them – that is not the benefit of virtue; that is a fault. They have virtue, true, but it becomes a fault. Those who sincerely maintain virtue completely and perfectly, who have virtue as their practice, free from greed, not thinking about gain and veneration – that is the true blessing of virtue.
What is it like when virtue is complete? With virtue as a foundation, the blessing is that concentration arises.
Concentration is the mind firmly unified. Normally, the mind is scattered and distracted in all sorts of ways; it doesn't settle down, it doesn't stay with the heart. When you contemplate single-mindedly on virtue, and the mind clearly sees the value of virtue, it then stops scattering to other things and becomes firmly established on that one thing – that is concentration arising from virtue. The same applies when contemplating other things. When you contemplate anything at all, if the mind is firmly fixed on a single object and not distracted elsewhere, that is concentration.
If this concentration arises only occasionally, it is weak – called momentary concentration (khaṇika-samādhi) or access concentration (upacāra-samādhi), depending. It comes and goes; it's not fully stable. But even arising occasionally is still good. The mind coming together now and then – that is called seeing the mind itself, which is considered excellent. Seeing that our mind is distracted, that our mind is agitated, that our mind thinks about various objects – that is the best, because then we can rouse effort, we can struggle and fight, we can try to correct it. That is better than not seeing at all. Someone who doesn't see at all doesn't know where to correct. If that is the case, when the mind scatters to any object, contemplate that object, then you will see clearly: why is this happening? What does it arise from? What does it want? When you contemplate the mind like this, the mind will let go of its thinking, just follow and know its affairs, and then it will disappear on its own. Then it will unify into one-pointedness (ekaggatā), concentration fully firm. Once it is fully firm, let it stay like that for a while; however long it can stay, let it stay.
If it emerges from that and then scatters again to various objects, just watch it. Where will it go? Wherever it goes, it's still right here with you. You are the one seeing and knowing, just seeing it go there, aware of yourself. Determine as before: cause and effect. Why is this happening? Let it contemplate itself. Why is it still scattering? Why is it still agitated? What does it want? What is it desiring? What does it arise from? When you understand the matter, it will disappear on its own; the scattering and agitation disappear. Later, when the mind goes again, do the same thing.
Doing it so that it disappears like this – you can do it all the time. Gradually you become skilled and proficient. Then, scattering becomes easy. Let it scatter, let it go wherever it wants. Normally, the mind is not a single thing; it's chaotic. But when we contemplate and know, following the knowing as we have practiced, it becomes easy. This is called dhammā anattā – phenomena are not self. They arise and exist on their own. That mind arises and exists like that; that phenomenon arises and exists like that. Wisdom arises within you. That is wisdom arising from concentration. That's how it is.
Don't be discouraged. Since we have resolved to fight, fight to the end. Do it simply, as I've told you. What's the chaos? What's the scattering? What's the worry? What is it involved with? Wherever it wants to go, let it go – we are not going. We will stay right here. Where will it go? Let it go and see. Let it go all the way to the end. Where does it reach? Does it reach the lowest hell, Avīci? If it reaches Avīci, let it reach. Try that, and it will disappear, you know. It's afraid of Avīci, so it stops. Just take that simple approach. Confront and fight using only that simple method.