26. Find Solitude in Non-Solitude

By Luang Pu Thate Desaraṅsī

We have all come to seek solitude in non-solitude — let's examine this. Everyone goes off searching in forests and jungles, traveling to various places, wanting to find peace and quiet. Everyone desires solitude. This place here is called non-solitude; this place here is called non-peaceful. That's why people go elsewhere to look. Now, we must try to find solitude within, in the midst of non-peace. Seek solitude in the non-peaceful. No matter where you go, wherever the place, the non-peace must all originate from within ourselves. All the delight, amusement, and enjoyment we experience when going to different places come entirely from ourselves. If our own mind is already delighting and not peaceful, then it remains just as unpeaceful as before.

What is it that is not peaceful? These six sense-bases themselves are not peaceful. The eye is not peaceful, the ear is not peaceful, the nose is not peaceful, the tongue, the body, the mind are not peaceful. Going to different places, the more you see all kinds of strange and wondrous things, the more excited you become — so you never find peace. If you encounter bad air that affects you, or even good air that affects you, making you feel calm and cool — it all depends on ourselves. Because we ourselves are affected, we ourselves react. We don't contemplate things correctly, so it all blows up.

Sound is the same. Pleasant sounds, unpleasant sounds, coarse sounds, subtle sounds — desirable objects, undesirable objects — they all arise from ourselves. Even in a forest with no sound at all, sounds can still appear. In modern language, it's called the "subconscious." That arises without our knowing. The subconscious sound arises without our awareness. If we are not peaceful and haven't trained it to remain stable from the beginning, then it just keeps arising.

Smells are the same. Foul smells, fragrant smells, all kinds of smells arise from our nose. If our nose is well-restrained, then when a smell contacts us, we don't get deluded or carried away.

Tastes are the same. They arise from the tongue contacting delicious food or not-so-delicious food. We take this self, this mind, and mix it in: "This is delicious" — then we get delighted and amused. "This is not delicious" — then we get deluded that it's not tasty, feel disheartened, or become uncomfortable.

Mental objects — all things arise from our own heart. That's why it is said that non-peace lies within ourselves.

We must investigate and search for that non-peace within ourselves — let's try this. If you can see the non-peace within yourself, then peace will arise. By investigating within the non-peaceful, peace arises instead. You see all those things arising and passing away, arising and passing away. All things are impermanent. Whether you stay here, go over there, live with a group of friends, or live alone — things arise for a moment and then subside. They arise for an instant and then disappear. That which arises and then disappears is impermanent.

Once you see them as impermanent, your mind does not cling to them, does not become attached or deluded. Those things have been that way all along. Then your mind becomes peaceful right there. All the objects that appear at the six sense-bases completely disappear; there is nothing left within us. That is peace arising in the non-peaceful, right there.

Whenever you fail to contemplate to that point, then go wherever you like — it will be the same as before. Moreover, going to various places, to non-peaceful places, non-peace already exists there. Wherever you go, it's just as unpeaceful as before, and you only add more non-peace. You go and see various things, hear various things, taste various things — all kinds of things — and then you remember them, record them in your heart, and they never go away. They increase more than before. Instead of decreasing and diminishing, they actually multiply within you.

We meditate and practice effort in order to make them decrease and diminish until nothing at all remains. Then we attain peace. See forms, sounds, smells, tastes, tactile sensations, mental objects — see them as disturbances, see them as dangers, as faults in meditation practice. When we let go of all those things, what else is left? Once we let go of all those things, the story is over. We live happily alone. After all this searching, happiness is right here, peace is right here. It is not anywhere else. That is why it is said: Go traveling to various places if you like, go and see. But if you can grasp this point, then you are peaceful at all times. The more you travel, the more peaceful you become. The more you seek solitude, the more peaceful you become — if you have reached this peace.

But if this mind is not peaceful, as before, then it's useless. You cannot find peace just by seeking secluded places. You can search all day and all night until dawn, search your whole life until death, and never find it. Because you are searching incorrectly; you don't understand what peace really is. But once you see the fault of non-peace, become disenchanted, see the danger and suffering within that non-peace, and let go right there — that itself is peace. Where else would you go looking for it?

We ordained seeking peace — that's why we ordained. We wanted to abandon, relinquish, and uproot everything — that's why we ordained. But after ordaining, we are still not peaceful. We keep looking for it in that same way all the time, and so we never reach peace. We never find it. It's just this little thing, yet we never find it. We see it as something enormous, vast! "Oh, it must be expansive!" People think it has to be expansive — that comes from right here. It spirals out of control because of this non-peace. If, wherever you are, it gradually becomes peaceful, gradually diminishes — that is called...