66. Kalyāṇamitta
By Luang Pu Thate Desaraṅsī
December 23, 1988
We must try a new approach. Try practicing meditation by changing up the methods. The word "change" here doesn't mean changing the technique itself, but changing the way we train. Live within a community, learn to associate and socialize with fellow practitioners. Whatever wholesome qualities you have, you should reveal them to your companions. Discuss and converse with each other in a way that reaches the heart. If each person stays isolated, each holding their own views and understandings, each practicing alone without training the mind and heart, without talking about the truth – then what good is it? You must share how you practice. Knowledge that is mere trickery or deceit brings no benefit, neither to yourself nor to others.
Concealing one's true nature – whether something is wrong or right, it just stays at that level. We cannot fix ourselves, and others cannot help fix us. Some people think they are better than others, and that closes everything off. Whatever goodness we have, it remains just that much, unable to grow. Some are base, corrupt, without wisdom or skillful means, and never open up to their companions, so they never gain any higher knowledge. Fellow practitioners must reveal their knowledge, thoughts, and views to one another. Then each gains methods and wisdom from the exchange of insights and understandings. One must be open with the community. Ordinary knowledge is not the same for everyone – what one knows, whether subtle or coarse, differs. Every person is unique.
The Buddha taught that a kalyāṇamitta (spiritual friend) is the entirety of the holy life. Venerable Ānanda said, "I have considered that a spiritual friend is half of the holy life." Oh! Why did I say that? A spiritual friend is the entire holy life – that's what the Buddha said. Just think: if we don't speak, don't converse, don't discuss with each other as mentioned, remaining silent and clueless, keeping everything tightly concealed – our own faults and evils also stay hidden, and they will only increase. But if we open up our thoughts, knowledge, and views and share them with others, that is called spreading the Buddha's teaching. Whatever we know, to that extent we are spreading the Dhamma. If our knowledge is little, we spread a little; if it is great, we spread a lot. That is truly the entire holy life.
Having ordained, we are fellow practitioners in the holy life. Like Luang Pu... I'm not ashamed of anyone – I reveal everything. Whatever I have, whatever I know, I open up completely. That is how a true practitioner must be. Then we reach each other's hearts. Each person is different, whether in Dhamma or worldly matters. When we open up to each other, our thoughts and views become free of suspicion and doubt. But if each stays silent, each remains tight and tense, then ordination is not joyful. There is no happiness in it. If there is any enjoyment, it's only personal. As for that kind of pleasurable enjoyment, without Dhamma and companionship, people chat about worldly things – women, boats, all sorts of things – and get carried away. That leads not to peace but to ruin.
When we come to practice and train, we must think of our own purity. We must be resolute and courageous. Whether among companions or in solitude, we must be resolute and courageous. This is called facing and fighting. We endure and fight on all fronts, in every way. Having ordained, regardless of everything – heat or cold, comfort or hardship – we endure and fight. With food, with all necessities, with every mood – we must fight.
There is a saying in meditation practice: "Beyond death." Practice until you are "beyond death." Put death behind you. Resolutely sacrifice your life to go beyond death. Hunger and thirst won't kill you. If you die, you won't get to eat anything anyway. You must endure to that extent. Fight fear, cowardice – they won't kill you. Tell yourself that, and it will subside.
All kinds of fear must be overcome by being beyond death. Put death behind you, then you can make progress. Don't be attached to this life, don't cherish it. Put it behind death. Even small things make you afraid of dying. You fear you might not die – many times. You fear not dying many times over. Without courage and resolution, you cannot cleanse yourself, cannot reach the end of Dhamma. You will be born and die countless times, through countless lives and existences – that is truly dying many times. But if you cling to death, love death, you will die many times over.
Let go of death, and take death today. If you are ready to die today, you will not die. When you are truly earnest, you gain knowledge. The masters say you then do not die. You see the truth. There is no more birth, no more realms of existence. You are free from death.
We go to secluded places because we want resolve, because we want to test our minds. If we go just for fun and enjoyment, that's not it. When seeking a quiet, solitary place, we must go to face dangers. Have you ever heard of a meditator dying from meditation? When you resolutely sacrifice yourself, you don't die. On the contrary, you gain even more knowledge. But you don't reach that point. We all don't go far enough. Our practice is shallow, lax. Shallow, lax knowledge becomes a cause for further accumulation. Everything becomes weak. Defilements overwhelm us, and we cannot fight. The masters say that lazy effort is the problem.