72. Self-Respect
By Luang Pu Thate Desaraṅsī
April 5, 1989
Having ordained and living together, we have the opportunity to admonish one another, to make things right and to harmonize with each other. Our conduct and practice, as each person lives and practices differently, naturally differ from one another, drifting further apart. When we associate together, it is very good. The Buddha taught that association is the best. We must see each other. As people who have become monks, to bring about harmony and unity among ourselves, we must have hiri (moral shame) and ottappa (fear of wrongdoing). These two qualities are most important within a community. Do not think that no one is watching us. In truth, we are in everyone's sight.
We monks must have hiri, moral shame, and ottappa, fear of wrongdoing in our hearts. Think that all of us living together are being watched. Most people look at bad things; they rarely look at good. Bad things are easy to see, good things are hard to see. Any behavior that deviates from the Dhamma-Vinaya, deviates from the community, deviates from the customs of the group, one should be wary of that. One should think that others are always seeing us. Do not think that others do not see. On the contrary, some people, if they perform any action that deviates from the Dhamma-Vinaya or from the community, think that such behavior is stylish, want to show off to their peers, want to stand out, to be conspicuous to the community. That is truly improper conduct. It is showing off one's own evil, which is ugly and shameful.
If we think that others are always watching us, then we must be careful in our actions, in all our conduct and manners. Always do good. Having done good, wish to do even more good. Not doing good to show off to friends, but doing good for oneself, preserving the good for oneself. That is called a practitioner, one who is especially careful of oneself. Therefore, living with the community and companions is best if we have mindfulness and are always careful of ourselves. Whatever our conduct and manners, we know them with our own heart, know them internally. We examine only ourselves. If there is any deviation, we must know it ourselves, be careful, and feel shame before the community. That is very good. This point of entering the community is most important. That we can become good is precisely because of this reason. If we are always mindful, have a concentrated mind established in meditation, seeing our own conduct and manners at all times, then we are called one who takes good care of oneself.
Let me speak a little about distributing food. Distributing food is a mannerism that we show to the community, but in truth, it is shown to ourselves, not to others. Do it with respect and reverence. Do not distribute food casually. Thinking that distributing food is an ordinary matter is not correct. It is a routine, a practice. Distribute with respect, distribute with reverence. Give alms with respect, give alms with reverence. Not respecting others, but respecting ourselves. The actions we do are a form of self-respect. No matter what others say, that respect exists within oneself. Do not distribute carelessly. We show humility and respect.
The Dhamma-Vinaya is right here nearby, not far from us. We live close, we see close. It is right here that heedlessness arises, and right here that respect and reverence arise. Each person should have respect for oneself. This is the beginning. Always be careful.